Conspiracy Theory: The Flat Earth

The second installment of The Paw Print: Satire Edition

Caitlin Deerwester, Page Design Editor

All throughout our lives we have been conditioned to believe the Earth is somehow spherical. That is a lie.
The Earth is flat, and that is a truth we knew back during ancient times when science wasn’t riddled with corruption.
In this modern age no one can be trusted; the government only wants us to think the Earth is round so we don’t investigate their secrets.
The Flat Earth Society website (the flatearthsociety.org) details all of the actual facts using a library of books with trustworthy information and a Flat Earth Wiki that they recommend for newcomers.
The most notable evidence of the Earth being flat is an experiment with a body of water with the other side visible with no obstructions. Clearly, if the Earth was round the water would block the other side.
This, and many other flat Earth experiments, are much more trustworthy than any from scientists who spent a large chunk of life in school mastering their subject, such as Steven Hawkins and Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Big Science imposes disillusions of fact that contribute to the belief of a round Earth.
First off, gravity is a lie since the childhood story that an apple fell on Isaac Newton’s head which is the main evidence for “gravity” was debunked to have never happened. Therefore, since gravity is not real the only way we are able to be grounded on our planet is for it to be flat.
The right thing for institutions like NASA to do is to admit the whole conspiracy of a round Earth, but for NASA there is too much at stake. They would have to admit that their two decades of “space exploration” has been a sham. Then the government would have to explain where the American people’s tax dollars for these programs have been going.
Become enlightened and investigate further, then the truth will be revealed. The Earth is flat and once everyone realizes that they can be saved from accidently walking off of our planet.