conspiracy theory: Markle’s strong Femininity

Bella Cesario, co-editor in chief

Megan Markle is a trouser wearing, door opening, light weight champion of the world kind of gal.
Megaun Marklue was spotted closing her own car door after arriving in London. Having dealt with centuries of sexism and certain expectations in the royal family, Markle decided to use her physical abilities in order to prove her strength.
Prior to this event, speculation surrounded her recently earned the title of light weight boxing champion of the world. Although these rumors appeared to be rubbish, the public was now convinced. After this astonishing, door opening fiasco, it is quite obvious that Markle does indeed have another title other than duchess.
After exiting the car on May 10, she reached behind her and miraculously closed the door herself. The royals are in shock, and quite frankly, appalled by her audacity to commit an everyday, casual act and abusing her title of being a light weight champion of the world.
“I think she should stick to her royal duties and leave the door closing and opening to the professionals,” said Rupert Davis the third, car door opening professional.
Marklue’s car door dilemma may have seemed to be forgotten, but it was not all tea and crumpets from there. Not only does she close her own doors, but she also opens doors for others, including her husband.
Following the royal wedding at the Windsour Castle, the newlyweds drove a blue jaguar to Big Benjamin. After Prince Billy opened the car door for his bride, she leaned over to open the door for him in return.
Prince Billy’s masculinity and dignity was compromised when Markle used her boxing skills in order to open the door for her husband. Reports have shown that she not only strained her wrist by opening the door, but also chipped a nail.